Good news from the sarcasm desk.

Monday, June 15th, 2020

Well, that’s how local television news seems to want to frame any venture that has decided to open up and this is one of those times I wish I had a special sarcasm font to bring home how nuts I think this is.

Six Flags! They’re opening! They have these temperature camera scanner thingies! Everything’s fine!

Disney! All those Florida attractions! It’s all fine! C’mon down! C’mon and dine in!

College voluntary sports practices! C’mon in and sign this waiver saying we can’t be sued if you become infected! But the practice is voluntary!

Summer camps! Who’s to say, really! But some parents really, really need to park their kids, and they say…they say that the coronavirus really doesn’t transmit from child to child. That’s right, isn’t it? Isn’t it?

Trump rally! Come on down! We’ll be not wearing masks…no wait, we will be handing out masks! And taking temperatures! And hiring actors to give the rally a more diverse feel!

It’s all…fine.

This is how, they’ll tell you, the economy restarts. This is how, I’ll tell you, the second wave becomes inevitable.